Best One Liner for a WhatsApp status

Some most popular and Funny One Liners Whatsapp Status are:

I’m pretty sure my prayers go directly to God’s spam folder.
If you’re texting two people at the same time, you are biTextual.
If “Plan A” didn’t work. Don’t worry; the alphabet has 25 more letters.
Sometimes the only one, who can appreciate you, is you.
You don’t realize how many clothes you have, until you wash them.
Why is a newspaper ten times more interesting when somebody across the table is reading it?
All girls are my sisters except you.
Hey, I found your Nose; it was in my business again.
If you can’t change a Girl… change the Girl.
I had a horribly busy day converting oxygen into carbon dioxide.
At least mosquitoes are attracted to me.
My Mother is a travel agent for guilt trips.
They say that alcohol kills slowly. So what? Who’s in a hurry?
If you don’t stand for something, you will fall for anything.
I am not lazy, I just rest before I'm tired.
Behind every great man is a woman rolling her eyes.
Think twice before you speak, you’d be able to say something more Insulting.
Dear Lord, all I ask for a chance to prove that winning the lottery won’t make a bad person.
Dear MATH, stop asking to find your X, she’s not coming back.
My opinions may have changed, but not the fact that I am right.
If there is no chocolate in heaven…”I AM NOT GOING”.
She is so fake that she should have two Facebook accounts; one for each face!
The longer the title the less important the job.
Unwritten Facebook rule : If that person isn’t in the photo, don’t tag them.
Good morning…let the stress begin.
Q is just O with a cigar.
I will be back before you pronounce afjkhnfkualnfhukcakecnhkh.
Weekends don't count unless you spend them doing something completely pointless
Consistent carelessness leads to persistent Failure.
The eyes are useless when the mind is blind
If “Plan A” didn't work. Don’t worry; the alphabet has 25 more letters.
I had a horribly busy day converting oxygen into carbon dioxide.
Dear Samsung, please also start selling jeans that can accommodate your smartphones.
Some of us learn from the mistakes of others; the rest of us have to be the others.
The door is open for you to come in and out of my life. But don't stand in front of the gate. You're blocking traffic.
Wow now I’m a graduate…….Now thermometer is not the only thing that has degrees without brains .
You’re beautiful until your Photoshop 30 day trial has gone.
I'm pretty sure my prayers go directly to God's spam folder.
I am not fat, I am just easier to see.
A clever mind solves the problems Whereas a great mind avoids.
I never make the same mistake twice. Three, four times maybe. But never twice.
They say that alcohol kills slowly. So what? Who's in a hurry?
Try to say the letter "M" without your lips touching.
Try to say the letter "p" without your lips touching.
Weird is a side effect of awesomeness/ being awesome.
Relationships are a lot like Algebra. Have you ever looked at your X and wondered Y?
I heard you took an IQ test and they said your results were negative.
My girlfriend is like my iPad... I don't have an iPad.
The longer the title the less important the job.
A fine is a tax for doing wrong. A tax is a fine for doing well.
Until I was thirteen I thought my name was 'Shut up!'.
I am so poor,i cant even pay attention.
You can't satisfy everybody. You're not pizza.
When life give you lemons, squeeze it in people's eyes.
I don’t hate you, I hate what you do, and who you have become as a person.
Stuck in a metaphorical bubble of existence.
Sorry, I can't hear you over the sound of how awesome I am. (Yes, It's Harvey's dialogue. )
Life is too short. Don't waste it reading my Whatsapp status.
Don't expect anything from anyone and you'll never be disappointed.
If you’re being ignored, that’s a good time to concentrate on finding yourself and creating your own mystery.
People are like music. Some say the truth and rest, just noise.
It sucks when you’re ignored by the person who’s attention is the only thing you want in the world.
Make me an option, and I'll make you a memory.
Some people are living with a double personality like mean inside but nice outside.
I’m in my happy place. PLEASE DON’T RUIN IT!
Once you feel avoided by someone, never disturb them again.
It’s so funny how ‘friends’ forget us when they don’t need any more favors.
Please don’t interrupt me while I’m ignoring you.
Don’t care for those who ignore you. Care for those who are ignoring others for you.
I know I am not perfect, but at least not fake.
Some people are like clouds. When they go away, the day gets brighter.
It’s hard when someone special ignores you, but it’s harder pretending that you just don’t care.
Go ahead and ignore me.I can play that game too, and I’m probably better at it than you are.
Oh, so now my texts are invisible to you? That's cool. I've always wanted a superpower.
Ignore me while you can. Because after a while, I'll stop giving a damn.
May my enemies live a long life to see my Success.
If only I could un-love, I would be a lighter version of me.
Don't strive to make your presence noticed, live it to make your absence felt.
I'm meaner than my demons.
Awesome ends with "me" and ugly starts with "u".
Hey, I found your Nose; it was in my business again.
Just wanted to say, you are as useless as “ueue” in a “queue”.
Lets us avoid selfish people like we avoid terms and conditions of software agreement.
I had a horribly busy day converting oxygen into carbon dioxide. So, DND.
My opinions may have changed, but not the fact that I am right.
I heard you took an IQ test and they said your results were negative.
Read books instead of reading my Status again.
My laziness is like 8, when I lie down it becomes infinity.
Ignore as much as you can, because people usually ignore expensive things because they can't afford it!
Everybody wants to shine, but no one wants to polish.
Don’t take yourself so seriously, no one else does.
The wrong person walked out of my life, and the right person walked in.